Last lesson you wrote a rough first draft on purpose. Today you run that draft through RIP marking (Read it, Improve it, Proof it) and write a clean final beside it.
The marked working and the clean final together are the evidence pack your teacher signs off for M1 KA4. Keep both. A polished page with no trail of what you fixed is not the assignment.
If you do not have a Lesson 23 draft, write about 150 words now before you start RIP: a short work-experience or part-time job recount for a teacher or future employer who was not there. Cover what you did on one real shift or day, one problem you hit, and how it ended.
RIP is three passes: Read it for sense, Improve it for craft, Proof it for mechanics.
| Term | What it means for you | Real example |
|---|---|---|
| RIP marking | You mark your first draft before you rewrite a word. | Selecting a line and tagging it "Tone slipped" before you rewrite it |
| Proofing | Spelling, capitals, punctuation, slips that change sense (after the craft pass). | dublin → Dublin; could of → could have |
| Redraft | The second draft is the clean final, not a fresh start. Keep the marked draft visible. | Clean final written with the marks still in view |
| Sentence variety | Mix lengths and openings. If every line starts the same way, the reader switches off. | A short line after two longer ones to land a point |
First draft (deliberately rough): Last saturday i went to my work experience in the cafe we was short staffed and I had to do the till and the tables it was mental. The manager was busy. The manager was really busy. I liked helping.
What would you fix first? Try the three passes on it, then do the same on your draft.
Open the activity. Your first draft from last lesson should already be in the First draft tab. Empty, or showing a different piece? Paste your first draft from your portfolio, or use the short work-experience draft you wrote at the start of class.
Mark every problem you can find, then write the clean final in the Second draft tab with those marks still visible. Keep the clean final in the same length band as your first draft: tightened, not padded. Finish with one line on the biggest fix you made and why.
When both drafts are done, press Copy for my portfolio to copy both drafts and your marks, then paste them into m1_l24_final_<your-initials> in your Communication Portfolio. That pack is your M1 KA4 evidence.
The rubric below does not keep your answers. When you have named the one fix you would still make, write it in Enter Your Work under the rubric.
You're previewing this lesson. Get full access to this lesson and hundreds more — each one ready to teach, with interactive activities, printable resources and pupil progress tracking built in.